Wise Men ??

We three kings of Orient are, bearing gifts we traveled a-far, daa, da da da, daa da da da, following yonder star. You know the song. But have you ever wondered about it? I mean really asked some hard questions. I did, when I was about eight years old. I began to question the validity of that story, about the same time I discovered the truth about Santa Claus.
First of all, were they "Kings", or "Wise Men"? I ‘ve heard it told both ways. Three kings showed up together, with gifts for the new savior. They supposedly had followed a star across the desert, at night, in the winter, to visit the new baby. Yea right. Were these "Kings" from the same town, or just from the same country? Not likely either way. In those days, kings were pretty territorial. They would not put up with another king living in their territory. So they must have been from different countries. But if that were true, how did they communicate the need to meet up and travel together to visit an unknown child in a distant town or country, as the case may be. After all, they had no telephone, no radio, and no telegraph. How could they leave from different locations, meet up in the desert, and travel together following a star? They didn’t have G.P.S. either. Which brings up another question.

Is it possible to actually follow a star? Ever try it? It’s not so easy. The earth rotates, and the stars move. Even if one did remain directly over one town, it wouldn’t help you locate one building hidden in the low rent district of a sizeable city. Try it. Go outside on a clear night, and pick out the brightest star you can find. Now follow it. If you travel by car for several hours, you will be no closer to it. It will appear to be moving along with you. Not only that, but if you are heading east (as our fabled kings were) the star will be continually moving west as the night progresses. It will be going away from you. Following it would be impossible. But let’s say you picked one directly overhead. Just which building are you supposed to go in? No matter where you stand in any city, the star you picked will look as if it is directly overhead. No way to tell which door to knock on.


All right. Let’s say this magic stationary star had a long tail that reached all the way to the ground, and never moved for as long as it took our kings to meet up, and travel across country to reach the earliest known Days Inn on record. Remember now, our guys are not in a vehicle capable of 70 mph. The star had to stay put a long time. If such a star existed, it would have pulled in thousands of people from all over, just out of curiosity. By the time our kings got there they wouldn’t be able to get near the city, let alone the Inn. The interstate would be backed up all the way to Levittown. Imagine, a star with a bright tail that pointed directly at one poor guy’s barn. Why everybody in the state would be there. And, everybody in the world would have written about it. The Chinese were already avid astronomers at that time, but they make no mention of it. They do have records of a comet about two thousand years ago, but nothing about a stationary star with a tail that reached the ground, pointing to a stable. Not a word.
And yet, our wise-men heard that Abdul’s cousin, was told by a friend of his great aunt, that a group of shepherds told their Mullah, that an angel visited their flock the previous night, and told them that a child would be born who would be their savior. And, based on that clear evidence they set off across the desert, met up by accident, and as luck would have it, they all had brought a present for the new king. He really liked the Myrrh.


Ok, suppose they weren’t kings, maybe just wise men. Now I ask you. How wise could they be to set out on a fool’s errand, trying to follow a star that didn’t move, to a location they’d never been to, to see a baby they weren’t related to. Not too wise would be my guess. Who would do such a thing in the dead of winter, across the desert, on camels? Nobody I know. I doubt that you know anybody like that either. I’ve heard that they smoked a lot of hash in those days, still do. It makes you see things, like angels, and stars with tails.


I am sure, the logic or my argument will be lost to most readers regarding this story. They will believe, no matter what, no matter how silly, how improbable, how ridiculous.


That, is of course not surprising. These are the same people who think an invisible super being made a world in six days. Then, the guy made a man out of dust, and later, took out one of the man’s ribs, and made a woman from that. Does seem kind of strange when you think about it. There are people who really believe that someone is watching out for every sparrow that falls. They waive their right to think, succumbing to the promise of life forever on streets of gold in a magic land high in the sky, or space, or somewhere out there. This all happens after they die too. No kidding, that’s the story. Oh, I almost forgot the topper. If you are bad, you don’t get the streets of gold. Instead, you are sent to live with the devil forever in the center of the earth in his fiery pit. I really don’t think so. I don’t think most of you do either.


People, people, people. It didn’t happen then, it isn’t happening now. Most people realize it, but just can’t admit it in public. Too radical. Oh, there actually was a man named Jesus. He traveled around living off the land, counting on the kindness of strangers to feed his troop, and make a donation to the cause now and then. He used deception and slight of hand to fool the locals, put on a good show, and told a good story. Much like an ancient version of Jim Baker. The myth grew, and lives to this day. Every hundred years or so, another translation and rewrite adds a little more to the tale. It gets bigger and better with each retelling. The rubes still send the money in. Follow the money, I always say.


So, to keep the peace we dutifully bow our heads, put money in the plate, and keep quiet. What would ‘momma-n-em’ think, if you ever let it slip that you didn’t believe a word of it? Just go along to get along, and prevent hard feelings in the family. Streets of Gold? Not a chance.
Hey Abdul, get the camel off the lawn!!

Dobbs